Public toilets in Italy are few and far between. We have found only a few in our travels.If they are in tourist areas, they will be attended by an anti-social looking toilet attendant who will take your money and hand you toilet paper. The price may depend on where you are and what your need is.
How does one become a toilet attendant for a living I wonder? Answer an advertisement requesting someone who is good with people?
Anyway what’s hilarious is that these paid toilets are often where tourists wander, but if you go around the corner there will be free toilets for public use. In Pompeii we had just had a reasonably long drive and then done the get-lost-quickly thing you do when looking for a tourist attraction in Italy. (this involves assuming that a tourist attraction as large as Pompeii will have a bloody sign showing you where to park and where to enter. Wrong. There are signs on the roundabouts to get you into the vicinity and then you are on your own. Seriously. After choosing a park at random, paying and not knowing where we were in relation to the entrance, we walked the wrong way down the street looking for SOMETHING.
We then walked back to find that the entrance was directly opposite where we had parked. We saw a market but didn’t see a sign because there wasn’t one. The market was actually in the entrance plaza to Pompeii. Who knew?).
Anyway there are paid toilets where tourists are milling around looking for the entrance. I wonder if the toilet attendant removed the entrance signs so that tourists would mill right there? We paid our 50 euro cents and used the facilities. We then walked around the corner, found the entrance and ticket booths as well as nice, free public toilets. That’s one whole Euro we will never see again.
In Portofino, there is a paid toilet on the wharf where tourists also mingle. I would rather wet myself than deal with the not so welcoming-looking attendant, so we kept walking. On the way back down the hill, having enjoyed the stunning view, we found a free public toilet one street back from the wharf. Saved one whole euro there.
Venice is another great public toilet. There are arrows painted on the streets to follow, which will lead you on a merry chase around Venice. When you do actually find them, there will be a queue and a cost. In this case there are no free public toilets just around the corner. The best option is to make a purchase at a cafe/restaurant and use their bathroom.
What’s hilarious also is that the prices vary depending on what you want to do. Usually it’s 50 euro cents, but we have seen some that specify male urinal only 20 euro cents, male toilet 50 euro cents and of course, women are always 50 euro cents. So men have to decide what they want to do before they can pay the correct amount. What happens if you go in for a tinkle and decide you need something more? I guess you go back out to the toilet attendant, ask for toilet paper and pay the extra.
Public toilets when they do exist can be pretty grimey. In the South and sometimes in the North, they never, ever have a toilet seat. Just a toilet bowl with no seat. This is fine I guess for a man, but what about a lady? You have nothing to support your weight and you absolutely can’t put your hands on the toilet bowl. Before travelling in Italy, women should spend a couple of months increasing their quadriceps and inner thigh strength for just this scenario, or perhaps their pelvic floor to be able to hold out longer. You often have to walk through a puddle when you open the door on a ladies’ toilet because some ladies can’t juggle their handbag, support their weight with their thighs and aim into the toilet bowl all at the same time. The cubicles are so small that there is no avoiding the puddle. God only knows how either sex would go about a bit of a number two if the urge took them in one of these toilets. I can feel the soles of my shoes being eaten away as I speak.
In small venues such as restaurants if there is a toilet for each sex, there seems to be no hard and fast rule about who uses which toilet. I’ve come out of the ladies’ to have a woman come out of the mens’, so I guess it’s first in first serve.
The toilets don’t always match the venue either. The toilets in the Palazzo Albergati in Bologna had no way to lock the door so I was forced to make my partner stand guard while I went. These also didn’t have seats but did have a public use bidet which seems quite frankly, a little bit yucky. The all marble and gold toilets in the bowels of the Uffizi Gallery in Florence also had no seats which I thought was a little bit odd given the salubrious nature of the venue.
Public toilets in servizio centres along the autostrade are generally free but they are also generally very open and vary in cleanliness. I have found myself on more than one occasion standing waiting for a cubicle in the ladies’ whilst staring at a line of men using urinals in the mens’. What really throws me is when you come out of a cubicle adjusting your tights to find a male toilet attendant standing at the ladies’ basins.
The other thing about toilets is the flushers and taps. I came out of the nice toilets at the bookshop at Pompeii with soap on my hands because I couldn’t figure out how to use the tap. Andrew of course laughed uproariously at me. I remembered that when I went in there was a woman pushing, pulling and prodding the tap and smiled a little to myself.
So, I don’t think it was just me having a stupid tap moment. It had a square top. I thought it might be automatic but standing with my hands under the tap didn’t work. I tried turning it left. I tried turning it right. I tried pushing it. Eventually I gave up and poured water from a water bottle on my hands. Andrew tells me you push the top back. Who knew? Maybe there should be a sign with a picture for tap-deficient, non- Italian speakers.
I have come across automatic taps, peddles, normal buttons, push with your thighs, push, pull, turn and flip. For flushers, I have had motorcycle throttles, foot pedals, hidden boxes on the wall, push buttons and pull chains as well as automatic flushers that flush when you least want them to then won’t flush when needed.
There are a lot of things that are interesting about travelling in other countries, but I think that interesting toileting is one thing that we all have in common. Just follow these simple rules – never pass a free toilet without going, always carry change, wear non-corrosive soled shoes and always carry tissues.
