I had an epiphany. It was like a shot of adrenalin to the heart.
Life was passing me by.
To be exact, MY life was passing me by.
I have a sense of time being short and life being fleeting. We have had a period where too many people we know, people not much older than ourselves, have battled the big C. All but one of these people are no longer with us. More than a few of them were living their lives like they would have plenty of time to do life later. It makes you hyper-aware that every day is not just another day, but another opportunity to live. I have to do something to save myself from a life of sameness. I need to step off the hamster wheel before all I am left with is wrinkles and regrets.
I don’t mean to be morose, but these events were the catalyst for my near panic need for a life change. Don’t ever say “bucket list” to me. Urban Dictionary defines “bucket list” as “a list of things you’d like to do before you die.” This completely misses the point of living.
LIFE ITSELF IS THE EXPERIENCE.
Life is not a list, not a compilation, not a bunch of things I can tick off and call it done. LIFE is what you do in between ticking off things on the list. I want to do LIFE before I die.
Since most of us don’t know when that will be, I plan on doing as much life as I can now.
I’m removing myself from my life and going to Italy.
Luckily for me, Andrew was affected by the same urge to live. He is a fantastic traveller, unafraid and adventurous – a risk taker. I’m not a risk-taker, in fact I’m exactly the opposite of a risk-taker. So I have a partner in adventure to bolster my travelling timidity. Strangely, the idea of packing up and going to some place unknown, with food, language and customs I don’t understand doesn’t faze me. Life is full of uncomfortable, worthwhile moments. I plan on having many, many of these starting now.
P.S. Little did we realise that the search for worthwhile moments would lead to such profound changes and life improvements. Taking yourself out of your comfort zone forces growth, and growth is NEVER a bad thing. Removing yourself completely from your life forces change, and change is NEVER a bad thing. Putting ourselves into a position where we had no choice but to break habits was unexpectedly therapeutic. By distracting ourselves from our ordinary lives, we saw our lives more clearly.
